Kindling Hope
by closetxfanfictionxwriter
Summary: After four years of traveling, Killua and Gon finally reunite. Killua develops feelings around Gon he doesn't entirely understand, and Gon thinks he started to recover his nen… the moment their hands touched. Killua and Gon pair up to recover Gon's nen in Kista, a city of gambling, where danger and adventure awaits them. [Killugon]
1. Chapter 1

Kindling Hope

After four years of travelling, Killua and Gon finally reunite. Killua develops feelings around Gon he doesn't entirely understand, and Gon thinks he started to recover his nen… the moment their hands touched.

Four years have passed since Killua and Gon last saw each other, when Gon accepted his father's challenge and climbed to the top of the World Tree. Since then, they parted ways. Killua traveled the world with his sister, Alluka, and Gon traveled the world himself, training, searching for a way to return his nen and to find his destiny. Of course, they wrote to each other constantly. Gon claimed he'd grown wiser over his journeys, but Killua doubts it. He bets his best friend is exactly as sincere and light-hearted as ever.

Alluka, now with better control over her power of Something, decided that she wanted to follow in Killua's footsteps and take the Hunter Exam. Afterwards, she planned to return home to reconnect with her family.

Now alone, Killua urged Gon to meet up with him. He didn't mentioned so in the letters, but he hopes to travel side-by-side with Gon again.

Killua leans his head back on his park bench, then glances at his phone. 1:00pm. This is definitely the meeting place Gon requested, a wildlife park known for its hundreds of species of birds. Killua observes the flight of two scarlet doves above him as a teenager with spiky hair and gleaming brown eyes walks toward him.

"Killua," Gon shouts. He runs to him and embraces him. Killua grunts, then awkwardly pats Gon on the back. When Gon straightens, Killua gets a good look at him. He grew tall, though still not as tall as him. He wore black pants and boots, and a green jacket that fit tightly, making it clear Gon became more muscular in the past four years. His face is more mature, sharper, but his eyes are still as full of life as Killua remembers. "I've missed you," Gon says. "Traveling was hardly the same without my best friend."

Killua reddens. "So you've said in every single letter." It's more embarrassing hearing it face-to-face. But it makes him hopeful. Maybe Gon will agree to travel together again.

Gon grabs his hand and pulls him up. Killua forgot how innocently Gon used to touch him, and he is stunned to silence from the spark he feels when their skin touches. That didn't use to happen, did it? He watches Gon uneasily, similar to how he examines an opponent to gauge their power before a battle. Gon still has no nen, but vulnerability and fear quakes in Killua's stomach. And he doesn't understand why.

"Come on," Gon says. "I'm starving." He leads Killua down the street to a local restaurant, and their hostess seats them at a table beside a couple on a date. The pair are holding hands, their fingers interlocked.

Killua loosens the top of his turtleneck. He's sweating, all of a sudden.

Across from him, Gon smiles, and Killua is glad that his smile has stayed the same. When Gon smiles, he glows. His eyes, his face, his aura-everything radiates. Killua looks at the menu quickly so Gon doesn't catch him staring.

Then Gon's smile turns serious. "I haven't been able to sense an aura in years, but, just a few minutes ago, I feel like I started to sense yours."

"Are you sure?" Killua asks. He doesn't want Gon to get his hopes up. His letters about his quest to rediscover his nen were painful to read, both because he hated to hear of Gon so distressed and because it reminded him of when Gon was in the hospital, dying, his body shriveled and black like a charcoal spit out from a fire. That was the worst time of Killua's life, when he thought he would lose Gon.

Gon nods. "I think so."

"But why would you start sensing nen now?" Killua says. "Unless… I think there's two options. One, you did start sensing nen just now, with me; or two, you started sensing it earlier but only realized it just now because you recognize my aura."

"I don't think so. I would've noticed if I was sensing nen before." He furrows his eyebrows. "It was when I touched your hand."

"That doesn't make any sense," Killua says, but he isn't sure. He's no nen expert. As far as he knows, only intensive meditation or a powerful nen attack can activate someone's nen. But Gon is a special case. He gave up his nen during his battle against the Chimera Ants, and Killua assumed up until this point that he'd never recover it.

Before Killua can react, Gon grabs his hand. Though startled, Killua doesn't move it away. Gon's hand is warm and callused, the exact opposite of Killua's icy, smooth hands.

"I can definitely sense it," Gon says. "But I can't see it. Do you think, because we trained in nen so much together, mine is reacting to yours?"

"Uh, I guess it's possible."

The waiter comes to the table, and Killua pulls his hand back to his lap. They both order water and quickly send the waiter away so they can continue their discussion.

"Do you have any plans coming up?" Gon asks him.

"No. I…" _I was hoping I could travel with you_, he thinks.

Gon fidgets in his seat. It's strange watching him do that, like he used to do four years ago. Every time Gon does something, it reminds Killua of the past, and of how much he'd like to Gon to become a part of his present.

"Would you want to go to Kista with me?" Gon asks.

"Kista? The gambling city?"

"Before it was a gambling city, it was a spiritual area where people trained. Maybe being there, training with you, will help me find my nen again."

"Of course," Killua says, perhaps too quickly. "I mean, I don't have any plans. I'll help you get your nen back. Whatever it takes."

To be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

I meant to wait more time in between publishing the first and second chapters but I was too eager to write more. More Killua and Gon playfulness. Greater conflict and action to come.

Chapter Two

With their Hunter licences, Killua and Gon quickly book two flights to Kista. The airship is luxurious, with private compartments with leather seats that faced each other. The seats fold out into a bed, and a lever on the wall reveals a table that fell down like an ironing board. The flight would last twenty-one hours. They'd be sharing a compartment.

Gon stuffs his bag and his fishing pole into the overhead shelf, then collapses on to the bench. He kicks his legs up and leans his head back. "This airship is amazing."

"Because it costed a fortune," Killua grumbles, but he doesn't mind. Otherwise, he and Gon would be sleeping upright in seats, and this arrangement allows more room for… spreading out? Comfort?

The actual word going through Killua's mind is "closeness," but he's embarrassed to admit it, even to himself. During their four years apart, Killua matured. He's seventeen, and Alluka used to tease him whenever she caught him looking at pretty girls. Sure, sometimes they caught his eye, but only for a passing moment. He's never been physically close or intimate with anyone.

Yet, when he loses focus, his mind drifts toward the idea of intimacy. But not intimacy with a girl-with his best friend.

It confuses him as much as it scares him. He never thought about it until today, when he and Gon reunited. Is he simply happy to see his friend? Or is there something else? Sure, his daydreaming keeps going to that something else, but Killua can't be sure that his entire mind is on the same page. Even if he… starts to feel something more for Gon, he doubts Gon would reciprocate it. He's seen the way Gon can be with women-like when Gon went on a date with Palm. He was… charming. Looking back on it, Killua was bewildered and jealous. Maybe he wasn't jealous of Gon's flirting abilities. Maybe he was envious that Palm, not he, was the recipient.

"I have plenty of money," Gon says. "I've been working a lot over the past few years to keep myself busy." He lifts up his bench, the one that isn't a pull out bed. He pulls out a pack of cards. "There are games in here. Do you want to play?"

"Sure."

Gon pulls the lever so that the table falls down, and Killua expertly takes the cards and shuffles them. He deals out a game of poker.

"I don't know how to play," Gon says.

"You've… never played poker?" Killua's family made him learn when he was five to ensure he could master a blank face. As he grew older, the game had more stakes. Like when Illumi threw pins at him and Killua couldn't run, couldn't move, couldn't make any expression at all.

"Nope."

"Well, since we're going to Kista, you better learn," Killua said.

"Have you been there before?"

"Once." His face darkens. "For an assignment."

Gon doesn't pause for a moment, even though he knows full well what Killua's "assignments" entailed. "What's it like?"

"Well, it's massive. Full of casinos and various gambling dens. I have to admit, when I was there, I never heard of this spiritual site that you mentioned."

"It's definitely there," Gon says. "I found the information on the Hunter website."

Killua figures it has to be true then. Maybe he didn't notice it when he was there.

He explains Gon the rules. There are two of a kinds, three of a kinds, four of a kinds. But better than all of those are flushes. Then you've got straights. Then straight flushes. And before he reaches the royal flush, steam is whistling out of Gon's ears.

Killua flicks him on the head. "You're hopeless."

"It's complicated," Gon says, rubbing his head.

"I didn't even explain betting. We need things to bet. Do you have coins?"

"All my money is on a debit card," Gon says.

"You have a debit card? Only adults have those."

"Leorio opened it for me." He shrugs. "I didn't understand it."

"Well, I don't have any coins, either. We'll have to think of bets as we go along."

Gon, unsurprisingly, is terrible at poker.

"I'm adding five hundred push ups to the pot," he says. He leans back and crosses his arms tightly. His posture looks like someone strapped a wooden board to his spine. He is definitely bluffing.

"Fine. I'll call," Killua says. "Show your cards."

Gon places down his hand. He has a two of a kind jacks. Killua shows his four-card flush.

"Awww, how come you keep winning?" Gon says.

"Because I can tell when you're bluffing. You look like you're trying to hold in a fart."

Gon sticks out his tongue, then gets on the floor and does the five hundred push ups. He's remarkably fast. Killua guesses that in the four years without nen, Gon has strictly been training his body. He finishes in under eight minutes.

"You've gotten strong, Gon," Killua says.

Gon smiles. "I was hoping you'd notice."

They play another game. This time Gon seems more confident, without bluffing. He bets twelve non-consecutive hours devoted to helping the winner to train. Killua has a full house-three tens and two fours, a pretty good hand, so he calls.

After they keep placing bets, the pot climbs up to twenty-four hours.

Gon shows his cards. A full house. With three queens and two nines. Shit.

"Looks like you've got to help me train," Gon says.

"I already promised to help you train."

"But this is different. You'll have to do everything I ask, when I ask it. Instead of training side-by-side, you will be solely focused on helping me." He grins mischieviously. "Sound harder, now?"

Killua shrugs. Gon will probably want him to spar, or burn incense as he meditates, or bring him food and water.

Outside, the sun had long since set. It was already almost midnight.

"We'll start now," Gon says.

"Wait. What?" Killua says. "There's eight by eight feet of space. Plus, it's late. We should probably get some rest soon. We're going to be jet lagged."

"Fine. We can pull out the bed. But we're still going to train."

Killua raises his eyebrows, but says nothing. He is too focused on the bed and the idea of sleeping beside Gon for the night. He and Gon have slept next to each other before, but that was different. That was before Killua's daydreams started to get ahead of themselves. And he had a sinking, warm feeling that his heart was being dragged along.

They pull out the bed, and just as Killua is anticipating lying beside him, Gon says, "I'm going to change into pajamas."

Killua maintains a poker face, but inside, he is gaping at Gon's easy dismissal about changing in front of Killua. But they're friends. They've changed in front of each other before. Gon isn't thinking as far into it as he is. To Gon, this wouldn't mean anything.

Gon takes off his green shirt, revealing a tight-fitted black tank top underneath that highlights his well-trained physique. Despite being so toned, he isn't overtly large, or muscular and broad. Though Killua isn't, either. Maybe because they trained in similar ways when they were young.

But Gon's body is still unlike his, a foreign place that Killua's mind is already itching to explore. His skin is golden from his time spent in the sun, whereas Killua's is white from his childhood of darkness. Gon has multiple scars along him, some Killua recognize, and some he doesn't. And his body radiates with warmth, while Killua's is cold. Sleeping beside Gon, Killua would hardly need a blanket.

In too short of time, Gon is in his pajamas, and Killua realizes he's been doing nothing but subtly stare at his friend. He quickly grabs his trunk and pulls out his own clothes. He changes discreetly and fast, suddenly self-conscious though he knows he has nothing to be self-conscious about. Alluka once told him that those pretty girls were looking at him, too, so Killua figures that he's attractive. But… his confidence is shaky at the moment.

Once, he catches Gon staring at him. But his expression is one of innocent happiness, like a dog wagging its tail while sitting in front of its owner. Killua sits beside him on the bed, his heart pounding.

"So how were you planning on training?" Killua says, smirking. "Do you want me to call you Master?"

"I want to hold your hand," Gon says.

"W-what?"

"I started to sense your aura while holding your hand. I'm hoping that holding it for a long period of time while meditating or searching for my nen will help."

"How long of a period of time?" Killua says. He wipes his already sweaty hands on his pajama bottoms.

"Until we fall asleep, I guess."

While Gon spreads out the blankets, Killua turns away to hide the redness spreading across his cheeks. If he is holding hands with Gon in bed, he'd probably do something stupid, lose that poker face he's trained for years to maintain. Maybe sweat more. Maybe say something idiotic. Maybe tense up and just make everything awkward. Killua's biggest fear is making their friendship awkward. Above all else, he likes how natural everything is when he's with Gon.

Gon lies down and reaches out his hand. Killua lies beside him and grasps it.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you everyone for the follows! Much appreciated.

xx

Chapter Three

Gon's hand is warm and callused-probably from his fishing rod. Killua's heart flutters as he and Gon get comfortable under the covers. Neither of them say anything. From Gon's breathing, Killua guesses he's trying to relax and concentrate. Which makes Killua realize he's been holding his breath. He lets out a sharp exhale.

"What?" Gon asks.

"Nothing," he says quickly. "Do you feel anything? Um, with nen?"

"I can sense your aura," he says. "Definitely yours. It stings, almost. Not in a bad way. But it feels like your electricity."

Killua searches for Gon's aura, but he doesn't find any. Perhaps over time, he'll regain it.

"Is it okay if we just stay like this for a while?" Gon asks.

"Yes. It's to help you train," Killua says. Gon's slight smile falters for a second, but Killua might not have noticed it if he wasn't so fixated on Gon's face and his bright brown eyes. Maybe Killua sounded too serious. So he adds, "I want to help you. Any way I can."

Gon stares at him a few more moments, almost blankly, lost in thought, then grins. "Thanks, Killua!"

They don't speak for several minutes, when Killua realizes Gon has fallen asleep, their hands still clasped. Killua takes advantage of these few minutes to look at Gon. The light from the hallway comes in only in streaks from the blinds on their windows. It's enough to make out Gon's features, but dark enough that Killua feels safe staring at his friend in such a way.

Figuring it would be strange to Gon to wake up with their hands still clasped, Killua starts to gently remove his hand. Then, suddenly, Gon intertwines his fingers with his, locking his hand in place. Killua, startled, waits for Gon to say something, but he doesn't. He's asleep. So their hands remain interlocked for the rest of the night.

xxxxx

They wake as a stewardess knocks on their compartment window. Gon sleepily opens his eyes and yawns. Their hands are still together. The stewardess glances between the curtains, and Killua-though tired-yanks his hand away and sits up. He slides open the door.

"Good morning," the stewardess says. She narrows her eyes. Killua wonders if he and Gon sharing a compartment and a bed seem too suspicious. People might think they're… People might get the wrong idea. "Coffee? Anything for breakfast?"

"Coffee," Killua grumbles at the same time Gon asks for orange juice.

When the stewardess leaves, Killua examines his hair in his reflection in the window. It's flat on one side and looks ridiculous. He hurriedly licks his hand and tries to tame it.

"Are we almost there?" Gon asks. He leans over Killua and looks out the window. "That must be Kista ahead. It's _huge_."

"Yeah. Be prepared. There are millions of people, and they're not all the friendliest."

They get dressed much quicker than last night and hurry to pack up so they can get off quickly. When the airship lands, they're one of the first passengers off. Gon smiles and looks up at the scorching sun.

"It's so warm," he says. "And the air smells so good."

From his last visit, Killua already knows that the climate of Kista is that of jungle. Outside the city, farmers grow hundreds of different spices and herbs that shopkeepers sell outside, making the air smell strongly of their spicy cuisine and various perfumes.

"It'll give you a headache soon," Killua says.

"It doesn't matter," Gon says. "We're not staying in the city. I want to the go the temple areas outside of here to train."

"Then let's find them."

The city is on the coast, so they walk in the opposite direction, toward the jungle. This first takes them deeper into the heart of the city, where the streets are packed with people from all over the world. Particularly outside the casinos. Gambling is on every corner, whether inside or in the alleyways with a few dice or dominos. Kista is the capital of con artists.

"Gon," Killua says. "Do you see that?" He points far ahead, to something above their heads. He can't make out exactly what it is. "Above the buildings."

Gon looks up, then his eyes widen. "It's a fence. Woah, that must be hundreds of feet tall. What is it for?"

"I don't know. I didn't come this far into the city last time." He had killed his target within less than an hour, then promptly left.

"It looks like it's in the direction we want to go," Gon says.

Sure enough, when they reach the fence, it blocks their path onward. It marks the end of the city and the beginning of the jungle. Armed guards line the fence every few blocks, and one of them stops them.

"You won't be able to climb it," he says. "I know that's what you're thinking."

"We weren't," Killua says, even though that's exactly what they were thinking.

"It's electrified."

That wouldn't bother Killua in the least, but Gon certainly couldn't climb it. "Then how do we get out there?" Killua asks. he points to the jungle.

"You don't," the guard says. "It's off limits."

"But we're pro-Hunters."

The guard laughs. "Yeah, then so am I. You're what, seventeen?"

Gon angrily pulls out his Hunter License. The guard's jaw drops. "Can we leave now?" Gon asks.

"It's still off limits. But the tournament is starting in a few days. All participants are in the jungles. If you're hunters, you could probably compete."

"What's this tournament called?" Killua asks.

"The Tournament of Ruin," he said.

Killua grabs Gon's shoulder. "Let's go into the city and look it up on the Hunter website."

They find a cafe. Again, Killua orders a coffee and Gon orders apple juice. They use one of the public pay laptops in a booth in the corner, off from the rest of the cafe.

"It's an annual tournament," Killua reads while Gon leans over the table, his face only inches from his so he can read the screen, too. "It draws competitors from all around the world, with a grand prize of a ton of jenny. It takes place in the jungle. The objective is to find valuables hidden within the ruins around the jungle that are too dangerous for anyone but the best to explore. Players search through the area for anything valuable but also eliminate other players to collect their valuables. The game is over after ten players return to the city. The grand prize goes to the person who collects the most valuables."

"And that's the only way out of the city?" Gon says. "Ehh. Sounds like a distraction from actual training."

"And it sounds dangerous," Killua says, since Gon doesn't have nen. He doesn't want to take any risks with his safety.

"We don't have to actually compete. We can just enter a way to get to the sacred ruins." Gon smiles. "And it can't be that dangerous. We've been through worse."

Right. Like the time Gon nearly died after fighting the Chimera Ants. Killua isn't keen on repeating that part of the past.

"And you'll be with me," Gon says. "You wouldn't let anything happen to me. And maybe my nen will return when we're there, so you won't even have to protect me for long."

Killua wants to say that he'll always protect Gon, even if Gon becomes the strongest nen user in the world. Gon is his best friend, his first friend when he'd had none, and he means everything to him. Everything and more.

He wishes he could tell Gon exactly how he feels about him, but he isn't very good at wording his emotions. Gon always says things exactly as they are. Killua, however, second guesses his heart with each passing minute.

"How long until the tournament begins?" Gon asks.

"Four days," Killua says.

"Then we'll register today, and train until then." Gon grins. "It will be just like before, training together every second of every day."

Spending every second of every day with Gon sounds like a lot of time spent with sweaty hands, a racing heartbeat, and confusion about his feelings. But it also sounds exciting because may it won't be just like before. Although neither of them have changed drastically, something between them has shifted, slightly. But Killua doesn't think Gon notices it.

No, something in Killua and Killua alone has changed, and it's going to make training harder in new and different ways than he could've imagined. What was once a test of strength is about to become a test of temptation and restraint.


	4. Chapter 4

Together, Killua and Gon explore the city until they find the area with the most training options-dojos, gyms, and libraries to learn more about the sacred ruins outside of Kista. Unfortunately, all of that's in the shadier area of the city. The edges of the streets smell like piss, and dirty gambling chips and empty bottles litter the ground. But it's convenient and Killua is likely more dangerous than anyone they'd encounter. So they book two rooms in a hotel for their stay in Kista until the Tournament of Ruin.

The second they dump their belongings in their respective rooms, Gon eagerly marches them toward a dojo, ready to train. The inside is pretty shitty-mostly mats for sparring, along with a few loose weights along the walls. There is only one other person there, a bulky guy in the corner bench pressing. He watches them with interest as they enter.

"So what kind of training do you have in mind?" Killua asks Gon.

**Notes: Sorry this one took a while to upload! I've been traveling a lot and haven't had a ton of time to write, but I'm back at school for another two weeks and will try to post several chapters! Thank you so much for all of the follows and kind words. :D This chapter has a good bit of Killua angst. Hope you like it! -**

**Chapter Four: **

"Sparring. I want to see how strong you've grown."

Killua has reached the point where using nen is instinct, and it would be difficult to subdue that while sparring. Nevertheless, he says, "Sure," and takes off his shoes.

They step on to a sparring mat, arms ready.

Gon attacks first. He's gotten faster, so fast that Killua dodges him messily and stumbles on his own feet. Gon fires punch after punch, never making contact. Eventually Killua switches from defense to offense and launches his own set of attacks. He tries to chop Gon on the back of his neck, but Gon's speed suddenly increases dramatically. In a blur, he turns and grabs Killua's hand, stopping him mid-motion.

"You're not trying," Gon says. He keeps hold of Killua's hand.

"Sorry. It might take me a few minutes to get used to fighting without nen."

They set up again. Everything plays out the same, only this time, Killua cannot help but let out his nen, and his aura encircles his body, slightly buzzing. When Gon manages to grab his arm, he yelps for a minute from the spark. But he doesn't let go.

Killua immediately stops releasing his nen. "Are you hurt?" He hadn't been releasing much nen, so he knows Gon couldn't _really _be hurt. But still.

"No, it's just, I think I saw your aura. For a second."

"What?"

"When I first touched you and you were releasing it," Gon says. "I think I saw it. Release your nen again."

Baffled, Killua does as instructed. He tries to focus on releasing a small amount so it won't hurt Gon, but enough that he should feel it-maybe see it. But it's hard to focus on that when half of his brain keeps thinking about Gon's hand around his.

Great. He promised to help Gon to train, to do everything in his power to bring back his nen, but his feelings for Gon are going to screw that up. If he keeps dwelling on his emotions, he won't be able to help Gon at all. What if there comes a day when his feelings are too strong to ignore? And he'll have to leave Gon? He doesn't want to think about it, but those worries are difficult to ignore.

When Killua first releases his aura, Gon bites his lip and grunts. Clearly he can feel the electricity. Then he narrows his eyes.

"I see it," he says, grinning. "Killua, I really see it. It's flickering, but it's there."

"That's great," Killua says, though he can't help wondering why Gon reacts so well to his aura. Because they trained in nen so much together a few years ago? It seems almost too lucky that Gon has had this much success.

"I can feel it better this time," Gon says. "Maybe because I'm using more energy to fight you. Maybe if we keep fighting, I'll see it even clearer."

Gon's guess is as good as his, so they keep sparring. Killua starts to react a tad slower at times so Gon can catch his hand or his arm, and each time, Gon's face lights up as he sees Killua's aura clearer. It's silly, since Killua isn't doing much at all, but he's glad he's making Gon happy. If only he understood why.

Several hours pass, and the boys collapse on their mat. They pass a water bottle back and forth and catch their breaths.

"You've gotten stronger," Gon says. "I bet with your nen your almost unbeatable."

"You've gotten stronger, too," Killua says. More than he anticipated. Without his nen, Gon really mastered all of his non-nen abilities, like speed, strength, and balance. Physically, Gon was is perfect-no, better than perfect-shape.

Gon reaches out and grabs his hand. Instinctively, Killua releases his aura.

"Every time," Gon says. "I can see it every time."

"Doesn't it hurt?" Killua asks.

"I guess. I'm too excited to notice."

There are footsteps behind them. The bulky man who is also in the dojo walks closer to them. Killua immediately lets go of Gon's hand and looks over.

"You two are pretty good," the man says. He has black, short-cut hair-sort of military-like-and wears a matching bright yellow sweatsuit. He looks like a giant lemon.

"We know," Killua says.

"My name is Dorn. I work at a bar down the street, and we have a lot of sparring competitions there. I'm looking for people to defeat our reigning champion, who's been undefeated for several months. It's losing business. And you two could probably do it. You'll be handsomely paid."

Killua could probably use the money, but he knows Gon has a lot saved up from his work. And they're in Kista to train Gon.

"Sure," Gon says, to Killua's surprise. "I need the practice."

"The place is called the Cellar. Give them my name at the door. It opens at midnight." Dorn waves goodbye, and Killua waits until he's out of the building and earshot before saying anything.

"I don't know. Anything that opens at midnight is probably shifty."

"But at a sparring place like that, we could meet other competitors for the Tournament of Ruin," Gon says.

"I thought you weren't interested in competing."

"I'm not, but I still want to know what we're getting ourselves into," Gon says. "The sacred temples in the jungle is just an idea I had for training. And if the Tournament seems like it's too dangerous or too much work, we can try something else. I didn't think I'd make this much progress just sparring with you." He beams.

It seems like Gon really thought it through, so Killua is hesitant to argue. All he suggests is that they rest up and eat a bit before checking it out, since it's already getting dark.

At their hotel, they have adjacent rooms. Killua gets in the shower to wash off the layers of sweat from sparring for hours as well as to clear his mind. Through the wall, he faintly hears Gon singing in the shower. He sounds atrocious, but Killua can't help but smile. He forgets how light-hearted Gon can be. When he's with Gon, he doesn't see the world as cynically as he usually does. He sees it through the lens of hope, and light, and peace.

Half the reason Killua doesn't like the idea of going to the Cellar with Gon is because he wants to be the only one Gon trains with. Killua wouldn't mind spending every second of their upcoming week before the Tournament of Ruin sparring with Gon and holding his hand. Maybe next time they can spar outside where it's hotter. Maybe if Killua takes off his shirt, Gon will follow suit...

His mind wanders a bit too far, and Killua loses track of time. Gon is knocking on his door. "One minute," he shouts, then switches the temperature of his water to freezing.

After he composes himself, he hurries to answer the door. Only after he opens it does it realize that he's only wearing a towel. Gon is fully dressed, his hair dried, ready to go about the rest of their night.

Killua's face reddens. "Oh, sorry, I took my time."

"It's fine," Gon says. He moves past Killua and sits on the edge of his bed. "I'll wait."

Killua changes into his clothes in the bathroom. Ugh. Why couldn't he have at least thrown on a shirt before answering the door? Why did he have to be so embarrassing? Gon is going to start suspecting something is amiss.

He wishes he could backtrack his thoughts to before he ever started thinking about Gon like this. He didn't even understand why. Sure, Gon is nice on the eyes and Killua obviously likes being around him, but why did he have to start thinking of him like that? Killua tries to think of the very first thought but can't. Something must've triggered this. Some particular thought is to blame. If he could figure that out, maybe he could stop thinking like this.

But, of course, the first line he thinks after walking out of the bathroom is that he likes how Gon looks on his bed. He tries to distract himself by turning away, but he can't erase that thought. He can't backtrack it. He already swallowed the crazy pill a while ago and it's already in his blood.

"Are you okay?" Gon asks.

"Yeah," Killua lies. "I'm fine."

xxxxx Next Chapter: The reigning champion at the Cellar is nothing like what Killua and Gon expect, and Killua could be facing competition on a totally difficult battlefield.


	5. Chapter 5

_Thank you everyone for follows/reviews/favorites! They are so very much appreciated. I've been churning out a bunch of chapters so I'll definitely update frequently in the near future._

_xxx_

_In the previous chapter:_ Gon and Killua go to a sparring dojo, where Gon starts to see Killua's nen better when they're holding hands. A man there named Dorn asks them to go to a gambling bar called the Cellar where they will earn money and some practice if they beat the reigning champion there.

xxx

It takes Gon and Killua twenty minutes to find the Cellar, since all Dorn really told them was that it was "down the street." There is only a small sign pegged on to a wooden stake by a set of stairs that lead underneath a funeral home. They climb down the stone steps into darkness, and Killua can't help but feel that they're walking into his family's crypt that's behind their estate.

"This is creepy," Gon says. "Are we sure this is right?"

"The sign was pretty clear. But yeah, this is creepy."

After almost a minute of climbing down stairs, they reach a door. Killua knocks, and it cracks open. It's a man with one eye-the other is mangled, but a fake eye is drawn on with a permanent pink marker.

"Dorn sent us," Killua says.

The man swings open the door, and Killua and Gon are engulfed in a wave of cigarette smoke. Though Killua doesn't entirely mind the smell, Gon coughs and scrunches his nose and disgust. The walls are made of layers of dirt, dust, and bones-they must be within old catacombs. They enter a large room with round standing tables around the perimeter. In the center is a ring marked online by blue duct tape, where two people are sparring.

As they get closer, Killua can make out the competitors. The first is a man. Burly, not particularly worthy of notice. The other is a figure wearing entirely black, including a mask covering his face and a hood covering his hair. It's impossible to make out any of his features except he is slender and tall.

Killua immediately picks up the halo of nen surrounding the second competitor. It appears strong. The other man doesn't stand a chance. The man in black steps with amazing speed, and, with one strike, sends the other competitor flying across the room into the wall.

"He's strong," Killua says.

Gon curls his hands into fists. "I know. I'm ready."

"He has nen." Killua doesn't like the idea of Gon fighting someone with nen. He has no way of protecting himself.

"I've fought plenty of nen-users since I lost mine, and I'm pretty good at standing my ground. Don't worry about me."

Before Killua can argue to at least let _him _fight the nen-user first to gauge his strength, Gon marches towards the ring. He finds Dorn within the crowd.

"The boys from the dojo!" Dorn says. "Perfect. I just need you to give your name to that guy over there with the beard. He's the bookie. Make sure you tell him that I sent you."

The bookie is a spiney man, standing alone with his calculator and stacks of papers and jenny. "You look pretty young," the bookie tells Gon.

"I am pretty young. But I'd like you put my name down anyway."

Gon's voice has a cool self-confidence that intrigues Killua. He keeps forgetting that Gon has grown up while they've been apart, too.

"Whatever you say, kid," the bookie says.

"Oh, and Dorn sent me."

"I got it. I got it. You can go up now. The other guy is out." He points his pen towards the other competitor, who is unconscious, slumped against the wall.

This is a bad, bad idea. Gon is going to get himself hurt. But Killua knows that if he tells Gon that he shouldn't go into the ring, Gon will only want to fight more. He has a feeling this match is as much to train as it is to prove himself to Killua.

Gon walks into the ring. "I'm next," he says.

The man in black says nothing.

Killua pushes his way to the front of the crowd, his heart pounding, his chest tight and full of cigarette smoke.

The man in black attacks first. Head on. Kind of cocky, really. Gon dodges it easily, his arms up in defense. Gon is trying to gauge his opponent's ability first, without being able to sense his nen. He's playing a guessing game.

"Why do you cover your face?" Gon asks.

His opponent doesn't answer. He lunges again, again missing Gon, but this time Gon aims a counter-attack and grazes his shoulder. His opponent backs away. Killua senses him igniting his nen.

One moment, the opponent is on the opposite end of the ring. The next he is behind Gon. Gon, whose reflexes are fast, still isn't fast enough. He's hit in a blow to the back.

"Gon," Killua shouts.

Gon stands and stretches out his back. "I'm fine, Killua."

How did the nen-user do that? He moved impossibly fast. It was as if he hadn't moved at all, that he had disappeared and reappeared in a different spot.

The nen user plays the same trick, this time appearing at Gon's side. However, Gon is better prepared. He ducks the punch and kicks out his opponent's feet, sending him to the ground. Then he rips off his opponent's mask.

Layers of black curls fall on to the floor, and the nen-user sits up, furious. To Killua's shock, the nen-user is actually a girl. Probably there age, from the looks of her. She has dark brown skin, freckles, and huge black eyes. She's one of the most beautiful girls Killua has ever seen.

The crowd roars. Clearly, they are as shocked as them. But they seem more shocked that a girl could've been the reigning champion. Killua is mostly shocked by how pretty she is. And Gon…

"You're very tall for a girl," he says. That definitely is not the smoothest thing he's ever said. Killua remembers Gon being pretty good with women, from his date with Palm.

She says nothing. She stands up, brushes the dirt off her clothes, and walks out of the ring. The crowd boos after her. She's forfeiting the match.

Gon follows her as she marches outside, so Killua follows him.

"Wait!" Gon shouts. "Why are you leaving?"

"Idiot. Now I can't fight there anymore," she says as she stomps up the stairs.

"Why not?"

"Just leave me alone."

Killua grabs Gon's shoulder. "You don't need to go after her."

"I don't want to win by forfeit. She's strong. I want to finish our match." Gon shrugs him off and runs ahead, leaving Killua to awkwardly trail after them.

She reaches a parking lot around the corner and climbs on to a motorcycle. "Stop following me," she hisses.

"I'm sorry," Gon says. "I was just curious who you were. Why can't you fight there anymore?"

"Because people here think winning against a girl isn't a real fight."

"But you're a nen-user," Gon says.

She narrows her dark eyes. "How can you tell that? You don't use nen."

"I, uh, my friend uses nen." He grabs Killua and pulls him over. "This is my friend Killua. I'm Gon. What's your name?"

"I'm not interested in making friends," she says. Then she makes eye contact with Killua and pales. Killua stiffens. Did he make a threatening face? Sometimes he puts on his assassin expression without thinking about it. "I need to go."

"I'm really sorry," Gon says.

"Just go collect your jenny."

"I don't need the jenny," he says-though Killua could very much use the jenny-"I entered because I want some practice. Especially fighting nen-users. And I want to learn more about the Tournament of Ruin."

She starts her motorcycle. "You shouldn't mention too much about the Tournament around here. People will try to take you out before you get the chance to compete."

That didn't sound good. So the Tournament is more dangerous than they realized. Well, they haven't entered yet, so they can back out if they want. But it could be a good opportunity to help Gon regain his nen.

"You see, I'm new here," Gon says. "And I'd really like to learn more about the Tournament. You seem to know a lot about it. Want to meet for dinner and talk about it?"

Killua's jaw drops. Sure, she is really pretty, but is Gon actually interested in her? He tries to ignore the ache in his stomach. It feels as if he was hit by a baseball bat. He didn't think that his feelings for Gon would make him feel anything but awkwardness, not heartache.

"Nice try," she says. "Here's my advice: you're too nice to enter the Tournament. Get out of Kista and do some honest work if you're looking for jenny." Before Gon can say anything else, she drives off.

xx

Next Chapter: Gon and Killua spend a night at their hotel discussing the dangers of the Tournament of Ruin


	6. Chapter 6

_In the Previous Chapter: _Gon and Killua go to the Cellar so Gon can get some practice sparring. Gon goes up against the reigning champion, who wears a mask. Gon pulls off that mask and discovers she is a girl. She storms out of the bar. When Gon asks her out to dinner, she declines and tells him that he's too nice to enter in the Tournament of Ruin.

xx

Their walk back to their hotel is silent. Killua is trying his best not to be hurt by Gon asking that pretty nen-user out earlier. Gon doesn't know Killua's feelings for him. They're feelings that Gon could never reciprocate. He know falling for his friend was a stupid decision-probably the worst decision he ever made-but he can't ignore his feelings. He realizes now he'd rather be awkward around Gon all the time than… this. Pained. Frustrated. Angry. Vulnerable.

"Are you all right, Killua?" Gon asks.

"Sure. Why wouldn't I be?" He hasn't been making any outward sign of his emotions. He's been keeping his poker face.

"I don't know. I just can sense it. You're angry or something. Did I do something wrong?"

"No. Of course not."

"Then what is it?" Gon asks.

"It's nothing. Really. Nothing."

They reach their hotel and climb up to the second floor. Their rooms are at the end of the hall. Before Killua can go into his for some time to be alone and think and build a big mental wall between him and his heartache, Gon says, "Do you mind coming into my room and talking? I'm trying to decide what we should do about this Tournament. And, well, you're better at making decisions than I am."

Is he? What about the decision to fall for Gon? To allow this _idea _of them together to hurt him like this?

"Yeah," Killua says. "Sure."

He follows Gon into his room. Unlike Killua's stuff, which is already flung around his floor. Gon's is neatly folded on his side table.

"Could you get your playing cards, Killua? I want to do something fun if we're talking about something serious."

"Uh, okay." Killua leaves and then returns with his pack of cards. He and Gon sit across from each other on Gon's bed. Killua deals out a round of poker.

"Do you think the Tournament is a bad idea?" Gon says as he eyes his hand. "That girl made it seem like it was dangerous. I don't want you to worry about protecting me out there-even though I think I'll be okay. I was okay with that girl earlier today."

"I'm worried there will be stronger nen-users in the Tournament."

"If I'm out of my league, you'll protect me, then. And we're not even properly competing. We're just going to the temples to train on sacred ground."

Killua has a shit hand. Still, he decides to play it and bluff. "Two hundred sit-ups," he says.

Gon meets his bet.

"You sound like you still want to enter," Killua says.

"I've been trying everything to get my nen back for four years. And this is my next, and my last, option. I need to try it. And the Tournament is the only way." Gon looks up from his hand and studies Killua's face. "You're bluffing, aren't you, Killua? You're bluffing."

"What? How can you tell?" He's mastered his poker face since he a child. His parents had made sure of it.

"I can't tell from your face at all. It's perfect. Uh, I mean, your blank expression is perfect. But, I don't know, I can just tell. The same way that I can tell you're angry with me."

Killua clicks his tongue. "I'm not angry with you."

"Right." Gon plays his hand-a full house. Killua shows his cards, which is absolutely worthless. "That's two hundred sit-ups. Better get started."

Killua gets on the floor and stars. He uses the underneath of the bed to support his feet.

"Do you think it was a mistake telling so much to that girl earlier?" Gon asks.

Killua forces a small laugh. "I don't know. She was pretty."

"Was she? I guess she was." Gon laughs. "Maybe you should've been the one talking to her, if you thought she was pretty."

Maybe he should tell Gon that he wasn't particularly attracted to girls. For a while, he thought maybe he just hadn't met the right girl, but lately he had thought otherwise. He simply preferred guys.

He preferred Gon.

But he definitely wasn't going to tell Gon _that_. He had zero idea how Gon would react. He didn't think Gon would judge him, but what if Gon thought that Killua would come on to him? Well, he would, but not if Gon isn't interested. And Killua doubts that he would be. Gon is incredibly good looking, sincere, and _good_. He knows how to treat a date, how to word his feelings. Killua cannot help but be aloof and anxiety-prone all the time.

"I'm, uh, not very good with girls," Killua says in between sit-ups.

"Why not? You're good looking. I'm surprised that girls don't fall all over you."

"Well, maybe they do," Killua says, faking a smile. Why is he saying this? It's true, to an extent. Girls certainly notice him. But he never cared. It never did anything for his ego. Is he trying to prove himself desirable to Gon?

"You just need to be a bit… smoother?" Gon says.

"What? Like you? What did you say to that girl earlier? _Oh, you're tall._"

Gon reddens. "I can be smooth. When I want to be. I wasn't thinking about that earlier."

"Then why did you ask that girl to dinner?" Killua asks.

"Because I thought she'd know about the Tournament. And I guess I'm kind of desperate to get my nen back. It was probably lousy of me to ask her out when I'm not really interested in her."

Killua relaxes. The tightness in his chest, in an instant, becomes lighter. Hopeful. But he shouldn't be getting ahead of himself.

"Killua, have you ever, uh, done anything with anyone?" Gon asks.

Killua bites his lip. He tries to concentrate more on his sit-ups than on Gon's cute, curious expression. "Like slept with anyone?"

"I mean, well, anything."

"I've kissed people before. But not really much. I've been travelling with Alluka." He tries to restrain himself. He tries to play coy. But he can't help but ask, "Have you?"

"I've kissed a few people, too. But, uh, nothing more than that."

Killua tries to imagine Gon kissing someone, but the image quickly morphs into Gon kissing him. He finishes his sit-ups and hopes that his face isn't red ask he climbs back on to the bed.

Gon deals another hand. "I bet a story about a time I kissed someone," he says.

Killua has a decent hand, and he's curious. "Sure, I'll bet that."

The round plays out and Gon loses. Killua tries to look only half-interested, that he isn't actually dying to know what Gon's taste in significant other is like.

"Well, my first time was on Whale Island with the daughter of a fisherman and I was eight," he says.

"Nah, that doesn't count," Killua says.

"Fine, uh, my last time was several months ago. A girl. Her name was Tia. She kind of kissed me. I was visiting Leorio and she goes to his medical school. I liked her but not in a romantic way, and I told her that. So we stayed friends."

That is pretty tame in comparison to Killua's most recent story. Alluka stayed home while he went to a bar, where he met a pretty, foreign boy and made out with him in the bathroom. That had been the first time he'd kissed a boy.

"Why weren't you that into her?" Killua asks.

"Eh, she wasn't my type," Gon says.

_But what is your type_? Killua thinks.

"We should register for the Tournament tomorrow," Gon says, clearly changing the subject. Even though he was the one who suggested sharing the kissing story. Maybe he'd gotten cocky and expected to win.

"Okay."

"And you still think it's a good idea?" Gon says. "I trust your judgment."

"I won't let anything happen to you," Killua says.

Gon beams, and Killua marvels at the innocence of his smile. Gon has gone through a lot in his time spent searching for his father, fighting the Chimera Ants, and losing his nen, yet his smile is the most cheerful and radiant Killua has ever seen.

"I know you won't," he says.

_Next Chapter: _The Tournament of Ruin begins and Gon and Killua run into a few familiar faces as well as trouble.


End file.
